229 lines
2.9 KiB
Markdown
229 lines
2.9 KiB
Markdown
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自杀
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1939 March 21
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Encompass’d with a thousand dangers, Weary, faint, trembling with a thousand terrors.… I … in a fleshly tomb, am Buried above ground. —WILLIAM COWPER
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Hatred and vengeance, my eternal portion,
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Scarce can endure delay of execution,
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Wait, with impatient readiness, to seize my
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Soul in a moment.
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Damned below Judas: more abhorred than he was,
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Who for a few pence sold his holy master.
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Twice betrayed, Jesus me, the last delinquent,
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Deems the profanest.
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Man disavows, and Deity disowns me:
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Hell might afford my miseries a shelter;
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Therefore hell keeps her ever-hungry mouths all
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Bolted against me.
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Hard lot! encompassed with a thousand dangers;
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Weary, faint, trembling with a thousand terrors,
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I’m called, if vanquished, to receive a sentence
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Worse than Abiram’s.
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Him the vindictive rod of angry justice
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Sent quick and howling to the centre headlong;
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I, fed with judgment, in a fleshly tomb, am
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Buried above ground.
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I lost
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industrial revolution
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2.
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We
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put my head on the rumbling railway
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listen to the sound of the train
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quiet
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**Silence Afar**
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I Gazed beyond the distant, endless.
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Pointless，that infinite dragged-on railway, slowly rusting away.
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I lay my head on the ice-cold steel, letting it slowly freeze my body, mind and soul.
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Quiet, calming, as the chaos in my head grew.
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The sound of nothing is one that’s most deadly.
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I gently fell asleep, restless.
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Exposed and vulnerable, a prey waiting to be devoured.
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Steadily amplifying in the background, a hint of Roughness, irregularly roaring.
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Soon the sharp, no resonant sound of cold metal striking.
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The clink and clanks of the mechanical parts.
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Dragging of chains, smell of burning charcoal, piercing ring of bells.
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Ripping me apart.
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Sweet dreams, long-promised silence.
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1.
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Spring past
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Winter future
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2.
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3.
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the return of a once brighter time.
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4.
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The pressure of a single mom.
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5.
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empty.
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6.
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**Riding** with death
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Die once
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7.
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Violence
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self- destruction
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into oblivion
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8.
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I thought of millions ways how I would end
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9.
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Deep Waters , drowning, suffocating but can't seem to end it all.
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10.
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who cares
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manic depression
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战争
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isolation
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未来
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11. Maybe the most delicate existence, is non existence.
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12. Encompass’d with a thousand dangers, Weary, faint, trembling with a thousand terrors.… I … in a fleshly tomb, am Buried above ground. —WILLIAM COWPER
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13. I feel rotting in the inside, with rat eating
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14. my poem
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15. slight light
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16. the being of you give me. I don't want you notice, to become your burden.
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17. What is happiness sad and happiness reverse reliance and existence. happiness can't end.
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happiness is the confuse nption that relies on an individuals incapability to or unreadyness to cope or face with one's desire
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18. lisa flower object is depressed
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